


Evanescere Memoria

by ElvenqueenSarah



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Feels, Friendship/Love, Gen, Good Severus Snape, Grief/Mourning, Harry dealing with Sirius' death, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Other, Post-Order of the Phoenix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-22 07:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14303826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvenqueenSarah/pseuds/ElvenqueenSarah
Summary: Written pre-release of HBP. Grieving the loss of Sirius, Harry's mind is ripe for another of Voldemort's attacks, and Snape overhears an unpleasant revelation that disturbs him. (Hints of H/Hr and a fatherly Lupin)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the 7th Harry Potter fanfic I wrote and it is the first one written after the release of OoTP (but before the release of HBP).
> 
> Due to my major belief in Harry/Hermione I loved putting them in scenes together where possible, and as I never believed Snape to be a villain (even under all his snark and bad teaching skills) I did write him a bit softer than he is in the books (it was my way of showing I believed him to be one of the good guys!). 
> 
> Also, we never really got to see Harry grieve for Sirius in OoTP so this was my attempt to fix that. (It was just as well too, seeing as HBP didn’t really show us anything either!). This story was also a way to help one of my younger brothers, who was at the time going through a period when he needed some healing and who was the same age as Harry when he lost Sirius.
> 
> I do not own the characters mentioned in this story. They by right belong to J.K. Rowling, creator of the Harry Potter series. The situations mentioned, however, are my own ideas. I am not making any profit out of this story.

** Evanescere Memoria **

 

**“Courtesy is owed; Respect is earned; Love is given.” - Ruth Brown**

* * *

'Sirius, no! Don't! Mum, Dad help him! Don't let him fall! Sirius, NO!'

Harry jerked awake, gasping for breath, his body drenched in sweat. The nightmare that had haunted his dreams for the past two months had happened again. Sirius being hit by a blast of light and falling behind the veil and through the archway, his face a mixture of surprise, fear and stilled laughter.

Harry passed a trembling hand over his face and wiped away the tears that had mingled with the sweat. It was torment enough that he had the memory of those events creeping into his mind during his waking hours, but to also have them in his sleep was unbearable.

Harry looked around at the four vacant beds around him. Thank goodness the others hadn't been here to hear him. Untangling himself from his sheets he got out of bed, walked slowly over to the window and stared out at the brightening sky. Harry closed his eyes against the sight of the sun streaming radiantly between the clouds to sparkle upon the lake where the giant squid was waving its tentacles lazily. The stark difference between this sight and the one in his dreams was unendurable. He turned quickly and getting his robes out of his trunk, hurriedly got dressed.

Looking at his watch he saw that he still had fifteen minutes until his first lesson.

Crossing over to his dresser, he poured out some water and washed his face, removing all signs of his tears, and then replacing his glasses he grabbed his wand and books and left the room.

Running down the stairs he saw the door to the common room open and a girl with brown bushy hair walk in. The girl looked up as he reached the last few steps and exclaimed in surprise.

'Harry!'

'Hi, Hermione,' Harry said, forcing his voice to sound light. 'Where's Ron?'

'Still at breakfast last time I looked. I swear he could out eat Hagrid.'

Hermione looked at him closely, and Harry could see her eyes lingering on his cheeks and hoped she could not see the last traces of his tears. Swallowing hard he looked at his watch and feigned surprise.

'Is that the time? I'd better hurry if I want breakfast.'

Walking quickly he hurried past Hermione, only to be brought up short when he heard her ask quietly, 'Harry, what happened to Sirius?'

Harry stood as though turned to stone. No one had mentioned Sirius' name since he had had that talk with Nearly Headless Nick last June.

He heard Hermione come up behind him and felt her lay a hand on his arm.

'Please, Harry, I need to know. I loved Sirius as well, not as much as you did I know, but I did. I want to know what happened.' Her breath caught on a sob and then she continued, 'I need to know.'

Harry turned slowly and gazed down at her. Her face was full of pleading and a fear that he would ignore her request and leave.

For a moment he continued to stare at her and then coming to a decision he sighed and nodded.

'All right, Hermione, I'll tell you.'

Turning about he led the way over to the armchairs by the fireplace and sat down.

Hermione, her face pale, sat in a chair opposite him and looked at his face, which was tense and white. She saw him swallow before he began.

'After you were hurt Sirius, Lupin, Tonks, Moody and Kingsley showed up. They started to fight the Death Eaters. After Tonks was stunned Sirius went to fight Bellatrix. I didn't see anything else until Dumbledore showed up. Sirius had told me to get Neville and get out – get out of –!'

Harry's voice closed up and he swallowed hard before continuing.

'When Dumbledore arrived the Death Eaters saw him and tried to escape except for Bellatrix. She hadn't seen him as she and Sirius were still fighting. He was laughing at her as she tried to stun him; saying was that the best she could do. He was still laughing when she stunned him. He fell backwards and went behind the veil and through that – that archway. I tried to go and get him out but Lupin stopped me, he said that Sirius was already dead.'

There was a silence as Harry stopped speaking and Hermione fought back her tears.

'I could have saved him,' Harry suddenly yelled. 'I could have saved him, I know it.' His voice broke and he felt hot, bitter tears spring to his eyes as Hermione leapt from her seat and came over to him.

'Harry, there wasn't anything you could have done. It wasn't your fault Sirius died and it wasn't his fault. It was Voldemort's and no one else's. In your heart you know it.' She placed her left hand over his and laid her right against his cheek. 'You know it,' she whispered, tears now streaming down her face.

Harry looked at her and suddenly for a brief moment the empty feeling in his heart was filled. His feelings of guilt and shame were replaced with sorrow and grief, and for the first time since Sirius' death he let go of his anger and wept.

Hermione quietly sat beside him and put a comforting arm around his shoulders. Hearing Harry weep like this made her heart ache for she had never seen a fellow human being so grief stricken in her life.

For how long they sat there she did not know, but eventually Harry's tears stopped and his breath evened out.

Summoning a box of tissues from across the room Hermione handed Harry a handful. Harry looked from the pile in his hand to her face and Hermione saw a faint smile appear on his mouth as he whispered, 'you'd better take some too,' and he pointed to her cheeks.

Quickly touching her face Hermione realised it was soaked in tears. Taking some tissues, Hermione dried her face and blew her nose as Harry did the same.

Hermione was just depositing her tissues into a wastebasket when Harry quietly said, 'thank you, Hermione. I needed to tell someone but I didn't know how to start.'

Hermione looked up at him and gave him a small smile. After a moment's silence she asked if he felt like going to lessons or whether he would prefer to stay in the common room.

'Oh, I'd better go to lessons. The sooner I get back to normal the better I daresay.'

'Harry, don't try and force yourself to get over this,' Hermione warned. 'You should never do that. Take your time and let your mind tell you when you've recovered properly.'

Harry nodded silently, then seeing the clock on the wall said, 'if we want to get to lessons we'd better hurry.'

Hermione looked at the time and quickly got to her feet saying, 'we'd better wash our faces first,' and turning they both hurried up to their rooms to wash their tear streaked cheeks.

Returning to the common room they both picked up their books and had reached the door when it was opened and someone rushed in knocking them both over. The boy stopped hurriedly, turned and, his face as red as his hair, pulled them both to their feet while saying, 'Harry! Hermione! Where have you two been? You'll be late for double Potions and Snape didn't look too happy at breakfast.'

Harry and Hermione looked at Ron who grinned at them and said, 'apparently someone had just reminded him that he'll be having we three again for Potions.'

Turning towards the door he pushed it back open and walked through with Harry and Hermione following him.

 

*

 

Whilst going to Snape's dungeons Harry was greeted by many students who still seemed to want to make up for their behaviour to him the previous year. He acknowledged their greetings briefly and urged Ron and Hermione to quicken their pace.

Arriving outside of Snape's classroom he wasn't surprised at the diminished number that was there. Snape was, with the exception of the Slytherin students, everyone's least favourite teacher. Ron and Harry were only doing Potions as it was a requirement in becoming an Auror. Last year in their OWL's they had both passed. Much to Mrs Weasley's delight, and their own private shock, they had both received Outstanding grades, with Harry a few points ahead of Ron. Hermione, of course, had received full marks.

Looking around Harry was surprised to see that Malfoy wasn't there.

'Maybe,' he thought hopefully, 'he isn't doing Potions.'

He barely had time to build on this happy thought when he heard the drawling voice he hated over the other talking students.

'Of course Snape will let me take it easy for a while, after all he knows I've gone through a terrible time, what with my father being wrongfully imprisoned and all.'

Harry slowly turned his head to look at the pale, pointy face of Draco Malfoy who was speaking to a sympathetic Pansy Parkinson, with Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini looming behind him.

Catching sight of Harry, Malfoy stopped abruptly. His eyes narrowed unpleasantly and his sneer became more prominent.

'Well, if it isn't Saint Potter,' he snarled. 'Put any more of our parents in prison lately, or have you been too busy bribing your way into getting a passing grade for this subject?'

Everyone in the corridor was now quiet and was watching to see what would happen.

Harry glanced contemptuously at Malfoy and said in a mocking way, 'why no, I've enjoyed my summer thinking of your father locked away in Azkaban and how everyone would be reading about what a lying, hypocritical scumbag he is.'

Before Malfoy could retaliate Snape had opened the dungeon door and was telling them sharply to get inside.

Malfoy shot Harry a look of pure malevolence and stalked into the classroom.

Ron, meanwhile, was grinning and giving Harry the thumbs up. Hermione, however, looked worried, and as they walked into the classroom she whispered to Harry, 'you shouldn't have done that, Harry. You've just angered him more. He could be dangerous.'

Harry looked from Hermione to Malfoy and then back again.

'I don't care,' he replied. 'On top of everything else I won't have Malfoy going about acting like he's the one being persecuted. I saw what his father did in that chamber and I saw him in the graveyard. He deserved everything he got and now everyone knows it.'

Harry sat down next to Ron and started to place his books on the desk. Hermione taking a quick glance over to where Malfoy was sitting saw him whisper something to Nott and Zabini, who laughed unpleasantly. Taking a seat next to Harry she hoped that Malfoy wasn't plotting some revenge on Harry for she knew that, the mood Harry was in, he wouldn't care what he did if Malfoy forced a fight onto him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My many thanks to everyone who read the first chapter, especially to those who pressed the kudos/bookmark button. :)

* * *

 

The Potions lesson was the worst Harry had ever had. Snape was more sarcastic than ever and he on several occasions held Harry's Restorative Potion up to ridicule, much to the delight and satisfaction of Malfoy.

By the end of the lesson Harry had neared the end of his endurance and his scar was burning with a throbbing pain. Ron and Hermione, having seen him rub it on several occasions, had told him to go and see Dumbledore, but he had refused, knowing there was nothing Dumbledore could do to help him.

Whilst packing his books and equipment, Harry was hit by a white hot, searing pain in his scar. Grabbing his head in his hands, Harry collapsed back onto his chair with a moan of pain.

'Harry!'

Both Ron and Hermione bent over him, their faces creased in worry.

'Harry, what is it?'

'What is going on here?'

Snape's sharp voice made both Ron and Hermione jump. In their anxiety they had not realised that the classroom was now empty apart from themselves and Snape who was standing near their desk.

'It's Harry, Professor,' stammered Ron, who was pale with fright as Harry was now moaning continuously.

'I can see that, Weasley,' Snape snapped who, after a quick look at Harry, whose eyes were now closed, told Ron to go and fetch Professor McGonagall. Ron cast a hesitant glance at Hermione who nodded. Turning he raced from the room.

Snape turned and grasping Harry under the arms pulled him from his chair and lowered him to the floor. Harry's face was chalk white now and the only colour on it was his scar, which was a bright angry red.

'Miss Granger, instead of standing around like an idiot, try helping,' Snape said curtly.

'How?' Hermione yelled, in her fear not caring how she spoke to him.

'How do you think,' Snape said bitingly, 'call his name, slap his face.'

Hermione knelt down beside Harry and picking up his hand began to call, 'Harry, wake up, come on, Harry, wake up. Harry.'

It must have been about ten minutes later that Ron returned with Professor McGonagall, who took one look at Harry and, 'Legilimency, Severus!'

It was more a statement than a question.

Snape nodded.

'What!' cried Hermione, her head jerking up to look at Professor McGonagall. 'Legilimency? You mean Voldemort's,' she ignored all their winces at the name, 'is invading Harry's mind now?'

'It would appear so,' McGonagall said, her face pale and tense. 'Severus, is there any way we can stop it?'

'No. The only person who can stop it, apart from the one controlling the spell, is the person whose mind is being invaded.' He looked down at Harry. 'Only Potter can stop him from extracting anything from his mind. No one else.'

From their different positions the four watched as Harry writhed on the floor.

'NO.'

Harry's yell made them all jump. Stunned, they all gazed at his face that was contorting in a mixture of pain and concentration.

'NO, I WON'T!'

Hermione fell sideways as Harry's hand that she was holding suddenly swung up and struck her across the face. Blinking back tears of pain she watched with the others, as Harry became still, his face losing its look of pain and his scar's fiery red colour faded.

For a minute there was absolute silence in the classroom and then Harry gave a deep sigh and opened his eyes.

Blinking up at the people watching him Harry attempted to push himself up but fell backwards with a gasp as he grasped his head.

'Harry!'

Hermione was kneeling beside him again, gazing anxiously into his face.

Ron, almost as pale, was on the other side shaking Harry gently on the shoulder.

'Harry, stay with us mate, come on.' Ron's voice was trembling.

Slowly, Harry's hand came away from his head and he stared at his two friends.

'Hermione. Ron,' he whispered. He gave a deep sigh. 'I'm okay, just a bit tired.' He closed his eyes again.

McGonagall stepped forwards and bent over him.

'Potter.' Her voice was quiet but firm. 'Potter, I need you to stay awake, do you hear me?'

Harry nodded his head slightly. McGonagall turned to Snape who was staring down at Harry, his expression unreadable.

'Severus, we need to get Potter to the hospital wing. If you would be so kind as to take him I will alert Professor Dumbledore as to what has happened.'

Snape nodded and McGonagall turned and quickly left the room.

Snape with a swish of his wand had Harry on a stretcher and on the way to the hospital wing with Ron and Hermione still anxiously hovering by his side.

Upon reaching the hospital wing they found Dumbledore and McGonagall waiting with Madame Pomfrey.

As they walked in Dumbledore waited until Harry was transferred onto a bed before coming forwards. Harry, who was being kept awake in turns by Ron and Hermione, turned at the sound of his voice.

'Harry.'

Harry looked up into Dumbledore's kind blue eyes and whispered, 'yes, sir?'

'Harry, I need you to tell me what happened, then you can rest. I know it won't be easy, but I do need you to tell me.'

Harry nodded his head slowly, and feeling something heavy on his feet he looked down and saw the beautiful scarlet and gold plumage of Dumbledore's phoenix, Fawkes.

''Lo, Fawkes,' Harry murmured. The phoenix let out a soft, quavering note that filled Harry's heart with a comforting peace that gave him strength. Turning back to Dumbledore he took a deep breath and began.

'During Potions my scar started hurting again. As I was packing after class I felt a searing pain that was worse than the others. I can remember sitting back down, but after that I felt Voldemort extracting memories from me.'

'Can you remember which ones he took, Harry?' Dumbledore asked quietly.

'Yes. He was doing it slowly, whether to torment me more I don't know. Mainly they were ones of Sirius. He tried to open memories with you in them,' Harry looked straight at Dumbledore. 'He got angry about something, I don't know what, but my mind went blank. Then I heard him say that unless I showed him he would kill more of my friends. I shouted that I wouldn't and then he was gone and the next thing I knew I was on the floor with Ron and Hermione looking down on me.'

Harry stopped and looked at Dumbledore who to his surprise was smiling at him.

'Harry, I must congratulate you. Very few people have ever managed to stop Voldemort from invading their minds, but it appears that you have done so.'

Harry gaped at him.

'But, Professor, last year I couldn't stop him, how come I can now?' he asked perplexed.

'I don't know, Harry,' Dumbledore answered. 'I can only guess that your mind has strengthened in power and that it has built itself a protecting device that will automatically switch on when it is threatened. Quite extraordinary really.'

Dumbledore smiled.

Snape was looking at Harry and then at Dumbledore with a frown on his face.

'Headmaster, how is that possible?' he asked. 'In Occlumency the person can merely stop the other from gaining access to memories, not block them out from their minds.'

Everyone watched as Dumbledore looked at Harry, his face now creased in a frown.

'It would appear, Severus, that Harry was not using Occlumency. He was using something that has only ever been accomplished by one other wizard who lived three hundred years ago, Sir Frederick de Champsey. He apparently could make his mind go blank and no one could ever obtain his memories. Other wizards can only block access to their memories; he could make it so that it was as though his memories didn't exist. The Ministry at the time called it Evanescere Memoria – translated it means Vanish Memory.'

Everyone was now staring at Harry who was looking at Dumbledore in shock.

'How?' he whispered, and then louder, 'how, sir? How could I do that?'

'I do not know, Harry. No one does. As you are only the second wizard ever to have done it no research could ever be carried out.'

Harry nodded. Suddenly his body felt incredibly weary. All he wanted to do was lie down on the bed and rest his head.

Dumbledore seeing his drooping eyes and sudden pallor turned to Madame Pomfrey and asked could she fetch a sleeping draught.

As Madame Pomfrey hurried away to fetch one Dumbledore turned to the others and said, 'Minerva, could you inform Harry's teachers that he won't be in class for the rest of the day; Severus, if you could contact Remus and tell him what has happened.'

Both teachers nodded, Snape albeit reluctantly, everyone knew there was no love lost between the two.

'And tell him,' Dumbledore continued, 'that if he wishes, which I believe he will, he may come and see Harry.'

Turning, Dumbledore looked at Ron and Hermione who had each moved to opposite sides of Harry's bed and were looking pleadingly up at Dumbledore.

Seeing the entreaty in their eyes Dumbledore turned again to McGonagall and said, 'Minerva, when you tell Harry's teachers that he won't be there could you also include Mr Weasley’s and Miss Granger's names as I gather they would like to remain here.' Turning back to Ron and Hermione he smiled gently at them. Relieved and thankful they smiled back.

As Madame Pomfrey returned with the sleeping draught Dumbledore turned to her, and said, 'I'll leave them in your capable hands, Poppy,' bestowed a last genial smile on the three students and left the room.

McGonagall walked over to the bed where Harry was now still trying to keep his eyes open. Looking down on him a single tear tried to force its way down her cheek. Patting him gently on the arm she said gruffly, 'you can sleep now, Potter.' She looked as though she would like to say more but then turned on her heel and hurried from the room.

Harry, allowing his eyelids to droop again, caught Snape staring at him. Then, and Harry was never really sure afterwards, it looked as though Snape gave him a nod and then turned and swept from the room.

Leaning back against his pillows, Harry took the cup Madame Pomfrey was holding out to him and gulped down the entire contents. It felt warm and smooth as it slid down his throat. Taking the cup back Madame Pomfrey adjusted his pillows and bustled away to her office, leaving Ron and Hermione with Harry.

As he felt the draught talking effect Harry looked blearily at Ron and Hermione. Opening his mouth he forced his tired voice to form the words, 'don't go. Please.' They both nodded and sat down on either side of his bed.

Hermione picking up his hand in hers said gently, 'we won't leave, Harry, we promise.'

Harry closed his eyes. They were both with him and Lupin would be here soon, after all Dumbledore had said he'd want to come.

Harry relaxed even more and felt the warmth from Hermione's hand sinking into his. He had the best friends in the world. Clasping Hermione's hand more firmly he smiled and with a deep sigh fell into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter. My deepest thanks to everyone who has read the story, especially those of you who hit the kudos/bookmark button!! :)

* * *

 

'Is he all right?'

Lupin's voice rang throughout Snape's office, his shout echoing off the walls.

Snape looked at the worried face in the fireplace and said in his usual curt manner, 'he's in the hospital wing, but –!'

He was cut off as Lupin's voice interrupted again, 'I'm coming now, whatever Dumbledore's orders are.'

With that his head disappeared and the next moment his body had appeared in a burst of emerald green flame, spinning for a few seconds and then stepping out of the fireplace into Snape's office.

Without looking at Snape, Lupin strode forward towards the door.

'Lupin.'

At the sound of his name Lupin paused with his hand on the doorknob.

'What?'

'Dumbledore told me to tell you everything so I will. The Dark Lord performed Legilimency on Potter.'

Lupin nodded curtly, he knew this.

'But something happened while he did this. Apparently Potter performed Evanescere Memoria.'

Lupin gave a start of surprise.

'He what?'

'He performed Evanescere Memoria,' Snape repeated.

'How?' Lupin asked in shock.

'Dumbledore doesn't know, but after it happened the Legilimency Curse was broken and Potter woke up.'

Snape was about to continue, but Lupin had the door open and was rushing out, his cloak flying out behind him.

As Lupin went through the classroom Snape caught the sound of a muttered, 'thanks,' before the door slammed shut.

For a brief second he considered following Lupin to continue telling him what had happened, but then disregarded the thought. If Draco Malfoy saw him conversing with Remus Lupin he would surely tell his father and that could lead to all sorts of problems.

Picking up a pile of essays, Snape sat down at his desk and began marking them. Hopefully, he'd be able to hand out a few D's.

 

 

*

 

 

Lupin, hurrying along the corridors, barely noticed the looks he was getting from the students around him. Occasionally, he would hear snatches of conversations like, 'he used to be the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor,' 'he's a werewolf,' and as he passed a group of Gryffindor seventh years, 'he's the best Defence teacher we ever had,' causing a small smile to twitch at his lips.

Upon reaching the hospital wing he quietly opened the door and looked in.

In front of him on the opposite side of the room was Harry's bed with Ron and Hermione on either side watching Harry as he lay sleeping.

Walking quietly in, Lupin shut the door and moved towards the end of the bed.

'Hello.'

Ron and Hermione jumped at the sound of Lupin's voice. Turning, they smiled at him with Ron jumping up to pull over a chair.

'Professor Lupin, I'm so glad you're here,' Hermione cried, her hand still clasped in Harry's. 'I know Harry will be too when he wakes up.'

'I'm glad to be here too, Hermione,' Lupin replied and, as Ron pushed the chair towards him, 'thank you, Ron.' Sitting down he glanced at Harry whose breathing was deep and even. 'How long has he been asleep?'

'About fifteen minutes,' Hermione replied. 'Madame Pomfrey gave him a sleeping draught, I'm not sure how strong it was, but she's in her office if you'd like to ask her.'

Lupin shook his head slowly.

'No, at a guess I would say a medium strength one was used, lasting between two to three hours.' At their surprised looks Lupin gave a small laugh. 'I'm not just guessing you two, I'm judging by how deep his breathing is. A stronger draught and his breath would be deeper and he would take fewer breaths.' Looking again at Harry his anxious look returned. 'Is this the first time this has happened since he came here yesterday?'

Hermione looked at Ron who nodded. 'Yes. He didn't mutter in his sleep last night so it must be.'

Lupin, looking slightly relieved, sighed, and then closing his eyes he rubbed a hand over them.

'Professor, what's wrong?'

Lupin opened his eyes again and looked at Hermione. He hesitated and then said quietly, 'I didn't sleep last night. Unavoidable circumstances.'

'Unavoidab–?' Hermione's voice trailed off and then she murmured, 'oh, I get it, last night of the full moon.'

Lupin nodded.

'Well, if you want to go and rest Ron and I can wake you when Harry's woken up,' Hermione continued.

Lupin smiled. 'Thanks, Hermione, but I can rest in this chair until then, I've slept in worse places,' he gave a slight grin and then closed his eyes. After a while his breathing became regular and shallow and his head nodded onto his chest.

Soon the only sound in the room was of two people sleeping with the occasional rustle of sheets as Ron or Hermione shifted their position and, in the distance, the sound of students hurrying to lessons dimly penetrated the walls.

 

*

 

Coming back through the layers of sleep, Harry was conscious that, one, there were two objects on his bed and, two, his hand was being held.

Wondering what was going on, he opened his eyes slowly and reached out automatically with his right hand for his glasses. As he touched them his left hand was suddenly gripped tighter and a voice cried, 'Harry, you're awake.'

Putting his glasses on Harry could now see that two objects were Ron and Hermione smiling down at him.

Harry, who was about to smile back, caught sight of the person who, at Hermione's cry, had jumped out of his chair and was now standing behind Ron. Harry looked at him and saw not his old Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, not a member of the Order, but his only real connection to his father and Sirius, and one whom he had not seen for two months.

Suddenly, Harry's voice was choked with tears as he said, 'Remus.'

Lupin, after one startled moment at hearing Harry call him by his first name, walked quickly past Ron who had moved aside and sat on the edge of the bed and placing his arms around Harry pulled him close.

Hermione unobtrusively removed her hand from Harry's.

Harry's breath was shallow and disjointed as though he was sobbing. 'I saw him, Remus,' he muttered into Lupin's shoulder. 'I saw him die again.'

Ron and Hermione exchanged glances. They hadn't known this was one of the memories Voldemort had extracted. Neither heard the door open as Snape walked in carrying the bottle of Restorative Potion that Madame Pomfrey had ordered, nor did they see him stop as he listened to Harry's conversation with Lupin.

'Why?' Harry's voice was full of anguish. 'Why did he have to die?'

Lupin held him closer and said quietly, 'no one can answer that, Harry, but I can tell you this,' Lupin's hand smoothed the hair out of Harry's eyes as he pulled back to look Harry in the face. 'Sirius' death was not your fault or his, and despite what you think it wasn't Snape's fault.'

Snape started and almost dropped the potion he was carrying. Potter blamed him for Sirius' death. Why?

'Snape taunted him,' Harry yelled, his voice breaking. 'He accused him of being a coward. He knew Sirius would do anything to prove him wrong so he provoked him. It's his fault Sirius went to the chamber, Sirius wanted to prove he wasn't what Snape said about him so he disobeyed Dumbledore and came for me.' Harry stopped, his face now covered in tears.

Snape's face was paler than usual. He had never thought that his taunts might have been responsible for Black disobeying Dumbledore leading him to his death. It was strange, he had hated Black intensely, yet the thought that he might in some way be responsible for his death was not pleasant.

Snape looked up in shock when Lupin, looking Harry in the eye and speaking in quiet, gentle tones told him, 'it wasn't Snape's taunts that made Sirius disobey Dumbledore, Harry, it was his love for you. Sirius cared more about you than anything else in the world. You were all that mattered to him. The fact that you were in danger was all it took for him to disobey Dumbledore. He loved you more than his own life and he wasn't going to let anyone harm you. He disliked Snape, you know that, but Sirius was a fair man, he wouldn't want you to blame Snape for something he wasn't responsible for.'

Harry stared at Lupin and then leaning forwards rested his head on Lupin's shoulder. When he spoke his voice was muffled. 'I miss him, Remus, I miss him so much.'

'I know, Harry, I miss him too.' Lupin's quiet voice was filled with pain. 'You lost your Godfather, someone who I know was like your own father to you, and I lost my other best friend, someone whom I trusted above all others. We both will miss him, always.'

The room fell silent as Lupin stopped speaking, tears running down his face into Harry's hair.

Watching Lupin and Harry, Snape slowly walked backwards to the door, opened it and slipped outside. The scene he had just witnessed kept running inside his head. Turning on his heel he swept down the corridor to his office. At this point in time he didn't feel that he could face either Potter or Lupin after what he had just seen.

 

*

 

Inside the hospital wing Harry and Lupin pulled slowly apart. Lupin, putting one of his hands against Harry's cheek, said gently, 'Harry, I know that you wrote to Sirius if ever you were in trouble. I just want to tell you that I'm still here so that if ever you need to talk to someone....' his voice trailed off.

Harry, his eyes now looking into Lupin's nodded. 'I know.' And giving Lupin a small smile, 'you'll always be there for me.'

At this point Ron and Hermione walked forward and standing on either side of the bed they each placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.

'We all will be there for you, Harry,' said Hermione.

'You're our best mate after all,' added Ron.

Harry, looking at the three people around him, nodded, his tears still staining his cheeks.

'You're not just my friends,' Harry said, his voice husky, 'you three are the only real family I have now. You're the only ones I have left.'

Madame Pomfrey coming out of her office at that moment stopped in shock at the sight of four people sitting on one of her hospital beds. Before she could open her mouth to remonstrate them she heard Harry's voice, shaking with emotion, say, 'you three mean everything to me.'

Watching, Madam Pomfrey saw the three people enclose her patient in a huge hug. Turning away she took out her handkerchief and wiped her eyes whilst quietly sniffling.

'Oh, well, just this once,' she thought. 'Besides I've always liked that Professor Lupin. He was the only Defence teacher who ever knew what he was doing.'

Turning her head, she gave a last smile at the four people on the bed and then went into her office and closed the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. If you liked it, I'd love to hear from you.


End file.
